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We Don't Cloth Him

I had enough of the allegations my husband’s ex was trying to make about what goes on in our household. It made me so frustrated and upset when I knew exactly what was happening since the blue notebook. It even came to the point that we were going to start sending pictures to her even if she tried to accuse us wrongly. And sending pictures is what we did when Ben claimed he didn’t have proper clothes at our house.

Oh, my stepson got so mad the day I went into his room to remind him about his winter clothes.

He most certainly wasn’t happy when I mentioned that his mom was the one who wanted me to remind him. I even mentioned that we shared pictures of the proper clothes from his room with her. His response when I said I was going to show him where the clothes were was “I know where they are. I’m the one that put them there”. So, when I asked why he told his mom that we didn’t have proper clothes for him, he couldn’t give me a response and told me to leave his room. All he did was just shrug his shoulders which tend to happen quite a lot when he didn’t want to answer a question from anyone affiliated with my husband.

We even have text messages of similar incidents of him texting his mom, “you need to watch what you say to people”. For the fact that his mom is okay with him also talking that way to her is astounding. But why would she have to watch what she says to others? Maybe because it would ruin their plan of making us look like the worst people/(step)parents ever?

My stepson would complain that the house was cold and then go outside in the freezing cold winter and wear shorts and a t-shirt. Literally would wear nothing else! And indoors, he would just be in his boxers. I didn’t appreciate it and neither did his dad since I am only his stepmom, but would he listen to me or his dad? No! Because he has been told to not listen to his dad and he didn’t have to listen to me, respect me, or have an empathy for not just myself, but how others feel about these situations as more and more time went on.

So, while still trying to claim we weren’t feeding him even after the court hearing, and not wearing proper clothing, it’s no wonder he was always sick and missing school. His immune system had weakened. By January 9, 2023, he had 9 absences. It came to the point that we received a letter in the mail from the school. It said that any further absences will be considered unexcused unless they meet the criteria listed in the letter. It even said that if the student accumulates 4 unexcused absences in one month, and ten unexcused absences in a year, a parent meeting will be required. There were plenty of days where my husband would tell his son he needed to go to school, especially on one occasion where we knew he wasn’t really sick. I say this because later, we saw text messages of him working with mom about missing school, or even a text he sent to an once friend that my husband and I were the real reason for him missing school and not getting good grades. But we weren’t the real reason.

We at least found out that at his mom’s house, he did wear sweatpants, but only a sweatshirt. No winter coat either.

But by March 1st, we knew based on how he was dressed when he stayed in his room all the days prior, that he was trying to make sure we look bad by going to school on that Wednesday in shorts and a t-shirt after it snowed.

We did cloth him, however, he chose to not want to wear them. With also being an adolescent/teenager, we thought he just wanted to express himself….at first…. wearing what he chose to. I grew up knowing someone that hated wearing pants and wore shorts all year round. But the more he started to dress this way, the more we realized it was just to make us look like we weren’t taking care of a child. But at the end of the day, he wasn’t just expressing himself as many teenagers do.

This was another thing we checked off the DCF child abuse list that they were making their way down. Though these were minor things, the more minor things happen, the more it would become something major. Our question was…what was this leading up to?

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