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The Safety Plan

Updated: Nov 3

If you guessed suicidal was going to be the next thing for escalating the situation…then you are correct. Not even 2 weeks after they lost the child abuse case, my stepson started to claim that he has been having suicidal thoughts. CHR was even sent to his school to speak to him and create a Safety Plan for moving forward.

And guess what? Everything on this Safety Plan related only to my husband’s side of the family. They were:

  • Thoughts of Past Abuse

  • Going to Dad’s

  • Bullies

Things to do to make the environment safe from things that would hurt him:

  • Secure sharps.

  • Lock up medications.

  • Increase supervision.

There was never any past abuse on our side of the family. And he didn’t like going to his dad’s because his dad, but also myself and others were considered bullies for having structure and discipline and asking him to do things around the house. But those three bullet points of what triggered his suicidal thoughts.

Now don’t get me wrong here, my stepson may have had moments of feeling suicidal due to the loyalty conflict he was involved in. Suicide is a very serious thing that others should be concerned about. It’s not something to laugh about, that’s for sure. It’s something to be cautious of. I know a woman from my church whose child went through a similar situation, and he too felt suicidal at times because of his dad harassing him whenever he was at his mom’s as he was in the middle of a loyalty conflict as well.

But it is very sad to say that we have text messages to show as evidence that he was also using suicide as a TOOL to get out of things. Meaning from seeing anyone from his dad to anyone affiliated with him. This topic will be another blog I speak further about and how we came across this evidence. By that point, it was simply a way for him to get out of our house because we weren’t the FUN house, but the “House of Hell”.

While he was with us the days after this Safety Plan was created, we ended up hiding the knives and even took his pocketknife away. Each night, one of us would sleep downstairs and one would be upstairs to be on alert. The Tuesday before he confessed to the colluding was a long day for myself and my husband, especially because my stepson didn’t have school that day due to the snow, we got the night before.

You might think I’m making all these stories up and this is just a Soap Opera or a Reality TV show, but it’s not. This is our life and what we dealt with in the first year of our marriage. We were seriously concerned about my stepson’s well-being, even before this Safety Plan came into effect and it almost came to the point that we wanted him admitted to Natchaug to get the proper help he needed. Instead, everyone involved in the case just said he was safest at his mom’s house.

And these were the final few days leading up to the day that my stepson wanted to crash the car because he was so overwhelmed after confessing to the colluding that him, his mom, and her lawyer come up with.

I got to say, I truly feel bad for what my stepson was put through and truly sad for those involved who just claimed he’s safe with her, even after all the evidence we shared with them. He might be safer there due to no more harassing 24/7, but he isn’t safe there mentally and emotionally.

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