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The Engagement

Updated: Nov 3, 2023

I will always remember April 15th, 2022. Not just because it was Good Friday and it’s the day to remember what Jesus did for us all, but it’s also because my best friend asked me to marry him. My husband has been my best friend for 5 years prior to this moment. I knew the moment I met him that there was a connection. I know. That might sound funny, but the day I met him at the grocery store, I experienced something I never had before with past guys. As we ended our conversation at the store since he was working and I had to head home, I remember turning around and it was at that very moment that my feet just stopped. Some might find this crazy, but they really did just stop, and I couldn’t move forward. It was then that I heard a voice in my head saying to turn around and give him my number. I wasn’t the type of person to do that, I’ll be honest there. But with strength and courage, I did turn around, and once I gave him my number on my business card for my published book, my feet were able to move forward with no problem. The next 5 years were sure an adventure with my husband and though we even had our ups and downs as being best friends, when he asked me to marry him, I did not hesitate one beat.

April 16th was the day we shared the news with my family. I remember my mom was at the gym when I called her, and I stopped her from working out because she was so so excited. However, we waited until April 17th, Easter, to share the news with my husband’s family. Mainly because Sundays were the day that he picked up his son. I remember after church we went to my husband’s parents' house because we were all going to a restaurant called Georgina’s to celebrate Easter.

Ever since we shared the news with my husband’s family, his son was off the moon happy! I remember we came back from our Easter celebration of food and visiting family friends, and while watching the Ten Commandments, my future stepson got off the couch and started dancing, saying, “I’m so happy right now.” It was a bittersweet moment for me as even back in 2020 when we were on our Gettysburg Trip, he told me that he loved me. This is something you would never forget. Am I right? Well, unfortunately, my stepson did forget the wonderful relationship we had, but that discussion is for a whole other blog or podcast episode honestly, including when it comes to dealing with Family Relations who doesn’t want to hear your side of the story because it doesn’t fit their narrative.

However, on May 4th my now husband got served with papers. We were a little surprised to see he was served with papers because for a while, there was nothing going on for his ex to serve him. At the same time, we weren’t surprised that she served my husband because it was only 2.5 weeks after we got engaged. Coincidence? I don’t think so and neither does anyone on my husband’s side of the family. If she had a problem with living situations, she would have done it sooner, but it just so happens her ex-husband gets engaged after almost 11 years of being divorced, and it becomes a problem. Another problem was that her son, my future stepson, loved me as well.

The court papers my husband was served with were simple. There were 6 different things they were claiming my husband did, but there was 1 that was a major one and tied into us being engaged and moving in together that I will be talking about. Point #5 stated, "The minor child resides during father's access at the Plaintiff's home with the Plaintiff, and the paternal grandparents. The minor child is required to sleep at the Plaintiff's house in a small room which is also the Plaintiff's office, and bedroom for his grandmother as well not permitting him privacy."

The very last paragraph of the motion says, "Wherefore, the undersigned respectfully represents that the access be modified including a restriction that child not stay overnight at Plaintiff's home until he has appropriate sleeping accommodation and privacy in the bathroom, that Plaintiff not remove cell phone and permit child access at all times to Defendant, and punishment be for appropriate causes and not include removing food, drinks or appropriate sleeping arrangements from the child."

I guess the first thing I would like to say is what's wrong with a child having a small bedroom? I had a small bedroom growing up and didn't complain. Do kids have to have the biggest room possible? Shouldn't they just be happy they have a roof over their head and a bed to sleep in? I guess in this case, it was a problem for my stepson having a small room. As for the room also being my husband's office, my husband would work until 5PM. If my stepson was in school, he would have his privacy in the evening time to do his homework, or just hang out, but if it was during the summer time, yes, it could be a challenge in a way. However, with it being summer time, he could be outside during the day, or even at a summer camp if both parents agreed to him attending one with friends. And as for it being a place where his grandma would sleep. Normally, she would sleep on the floor in the kitchen in a sleeping bag. However, on hotter days/nights, she would sleep on the bottom bunk to have the A/C that sat in the window. Not everyone has all the money in the world like my stepson's mom does to have the best of everything. Some people in this world are middle class and just trying to make it by. We shouldn't be the ones being punished.

So, during a time when you should be celebrating your engagement and planning a wedding, we realized we had to find a house much quicker than we thought. With the housing market we were dealing with in 2022, I didn’t think it was possible. We also planned on getting married on August 6th, 2022. Yes, it did seem like we were getting married quickly, but when you have been best friends for 5 years and are ready to get married to start a life together, why wait? Especially if you want just a small and simple wedding. But we did look into a few homes, and fell in love with the one we have today. We ended up putting in an offer and we hoped for the best as it was getting closer to the court date. And when I say getting close to the court date, I mean 1-2 days before.

As the court hearing arrived and everyone waited, you could overhear her talking to a stranger about how she’s been waiting so long for this day to finally happen. Waiting so long to….Finally Get Full Custody. However, what her and her lawyer did not know was that the night before the court date, we got our offer accepted on a house we loved. In which, my stepson would FINALLY have his own room for privacy. Preteen/teenagers need time alone. Heck! I did when I was a preteen/teenager. What we didn’t realize was that he would be "locked" in his room and in communication with his mother 24/7, and soon she created a spy in our own house with the use of 2 phones and a blue notebook.

My husband’s ex and her lawyer lost the court hearing, and his ex-wife did NOT receive full custody. Unfortunately, this wasn’t going to be the end. Especially when it came to the motion stating, "...the Plaintiff not remove cell phone and permit child access at all times to Defendant...". It was only the beginning, and the REAL colluding was about to start the moment my husband and I got married.

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