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The Blue Notebook

Do you ever have a gut feeling when you know something is wrong? That’s how I felt the moment I saw a piece of paper that read my stepson wrote saying, “I’ll record this sometime”. It was the word, record, that really made me stop in my tracks and my heart started to beat faster.

It was at this moment, I went to Michael and showed him what might be happening, and it was then that I told him for the safety and protection of our household, property, and family that we document/record the REAL truth.

When we started to see what was written and how the stories of real-life events were being twisted around, we decided to start recording/documenting our whole life in case they tried to use it against us in court. This was for the SAFETY AND PROTECTION OF OUR HOUSEHOLD/PROPERTY/FAMILY. Hence why people have security systems for their homes. You need to protect yourself from whatever harm is trying to enter your home. And our harm was my husband’s ex-wife creating a spy within our own home.


The things written in this notebook were quite disturbing how much my stepson twisted our daily lives around. And before anyone says that the child is allowed to have privacy with journaling or keeping a diary, he didn’t seem to want it private, as he would leave it open on whatever table/desk/chair he could find or even his grandparents’ couch who ended up seeing what was said about not just my husband or myself but even them.


One specific incident my stepson documented was the “Dog Incident”. Though we have a recording of this, it’s just an audio recording, instead of a video. But this dog was not so sweet like he claimed in the notebook, and we tried recording whatever we could in case the dog did bite my husband. It came to the point my husband couldn’t make it to his ex-wife’s door because of how crazy this dog was, that he went back to the car. We waited a bit, but this dog didn’t want to calm down, but it was Sunday, and the day to pick up his son. My husband got back out of the car to start filming it, but by then, his ex-wife did come out of the house, and he went back into the car. It was good she didn’t see my husband due to the text she insulted him with the other day.


Unfortunately, since my stepson is only recording the “bad” stuff, people will think we aren’t good people. However, if we did not realize he was reporting everything back to his mom, we would have thought the rest of the day had been great. We kept recording for the safety and protection of us. And we did not say anything about whacking a dog or any other awful statement regarding the dog. We just talked about how there should be a fence for the dog, but nothing about it being an electrical fence. So just like his mom, my stepson is now trained to manipulate and twist our words/stories around.


I truthfully wished I had filmed a video, but I was just so in the moment of this complete stranger’s dog on their property, defending it, that I felt my husband was endangered. I’m not sure if I mentioned that early, but this dog wasn’t even his ex-wife’s/stepson’s dog. It was some neighbor’s dog that was let loose and ran into their yard. We have no idea who his dog belonged to, but it most certainly NOT a nice dog as my stepson wrote in the notebook.


This is also around the time of my stepson started to document that we didn’t feed him. Since my stepson decided to not eat with us one day, we mentioned he could make a lunch himself. Especially since he is 12. Or that he could buy Subway with his allowance money. My husband was also trying to show him responsibility since he is an adolescent now and not a child. But my stepson did not want to eat with us, and he knew and was aware that we had to go to my apartment one last time for a family to pick up the fireplace console. We weren’t going to stop or cancel this appointment because he decided not to eat with us. Especially when we offered him lunch and he said he was not hungry, so we shared solutions for him. We even kept out the rotisserie chicken that day and potato roll for him to make a sandwich. Supposedly this whole incident was a problem too and he documented it. Should we have told this family we had to cancel the appointment because my stepson didn’t want to eat? I know some can say, “why not just leave him home?”. Well, with the start of the colluding, we honestly didn’t trust him to be alone in our house and we didn’t have the cameras set up yet either. He also knew we had this planned as shared before and even offered to help bring console down the stairs. But, when it got to that time to leave, things changed.


With this notebook, my stepson is sharing with his mom and her lawyer only the “bad” stuff, and most likely didn’t add that we played a few games of foosball and had a great conversation during dinner as well as watched a 9/11 special in which my husband let him stay up way past his bedtime because it’s important to learn about what happened. Or even for other days documented, didn’t list off all the other FUN activities we did together.


The notebook was last seen near the beginning of October when the hunger strike really started with him denying the food – not us withholding it. We have no idea if he kept writing in the notebook at his mom’s house, or if they found another way of documenting everything by just simply texting 24/7. After the Blue Notebook, we started to realize they were going down the DCF Child Abuse List and using each one to falsely accuse not just Michael, but really this whole side of the family. The first one being the Freedom, Consequences, Expectations List. They believed this list to be a cruel punishment. And even though it came from a book, my stepson still documented everything.


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