The title for this blog says it spot on with what we dealt with next. “They have no heat”, and to add, “I’m cold”.
My stepson told his mom that we didn’t have heat and that’s why we had to get a pellet stove. So, what happened shortly after that text conversation? His ex-wife texted my husband questioning why we had no heat, and that Ben is cold and why do we need a pellet stove.
I guess even though I am only the stepmom, the house we bought is also my house as well. With that, it was MY idea to get a pellet stove for our house.
Do you all remember how expensive it was for oil in 2022? It was crazy and some places said that they might run out, or just not have any for months. And the places that did have oil, were pricey!
My husband and I moved into an 1860’s home. We love living in older historical homes. This home has two fireplaces. One of them was still a working one with a wood stove. Though we did have quite a bit of wood, a wood stove is a lot of work to maintain. We realized we wanted another alternative in case we ended up not getting oil as one company even told us that New England sent some of their oil over to Europe, so there was a shortage. The other alternative we thought of was the pellet stove. It gave off great heat in our house and the warmth would even make its way to the upstairs.
What he also didn’t share with others was that he would walk around our house in just boxers and complain it was cold. He would them complain whenever we encouraged him to put on clothes, or even just a sweatshirt if he was that cold. Instead, he would just complain all this to his mom, or tell us he didn’t have to listen to us. He might not have to listen to me since I’m only his stepmom, but at the same time, he needed to listen to his dad and follow the household rules.
It came to the point that instead of co-parenting like my husband’s ex was forced to in the November hearing that I’ll talk about, her and her lawyer gave my stepson a thermometer for his room. That way if for some reason it ended up colder in there then the 68 degrees my husband signed off on, they could and “I got you moment”. And I am aware that they knew about this because of the February hearing we had where my husband’s ex-wife’s lawyer mentions about it. How would she know unless it was part of the colluding? They have ALWAYS wanted to undermine my husband and just make him look like such a bad father.
Yes, sometimes the pellet stove would not trigger the heat upstairs to fully kick on because the warmth of the pellet stove would make it up to the second floor. But we can say that we did move it into our bedroom so that it would kick in if it ended up a little bit colder in the rooms. But it wasn’t freezing and still doable.
All while they were trying to blame my husband for everything, they were undermining not just everything he did but violated the divorce decree. Don’t you hate people that blame others for what they have done or are doing? I know my husband’s parents were getting tired of everything she was doing. And they were tired of her having all the money in the world to keep serving my husband or calling the cops on his parents, mainly his mother.
But I can say this, our house was never cold. If it was 70 degrees outside and say 56 in the house, we would be outside. And there were days like that. But when we asked my stepson if he wanted to go outside and kick a soccer ball around or throw a football, he would just question why he has to. Instead, he would just stay in his room, in the dark, under his covers (which we have images of), and text his mom 24/7 that it’s cold, or whatever else he can complain about then hang out with us for a little bit. We even shared with his mom that we DID have heat and that since it is my house as well, I’m allowed to get a pellet stove to have as an alternative if I want too. She might still want to try to control her ex, but she most certainly wasn’t going to tell me what I can and cannot do in my own household. She was already creating a spy and making sure that future courts orders would make my stepson start to say, “You have to listen to me now”. I wasn’t going to listen to either. Why? Because I knew what they were planning, but also because it was my household and NOT theirs and this was a battle, I was willing to fight.
In the end, we did have heat and we were able to prove it. That being by our oil tank, showing we have wood for the wood stove, or the pellets for the pellet stove…WE HAD HEAT. It didn’t matter if it was cold or hot, my stepson would complain. He would complain it was cold in the house, but then wear shorts and a t-shirt in 30-degree weather saying it wasn’t cold, but really just to try to show the school and his mom that “we didn’t care for his well-being” between the supposedly no heat, and not wearing proper clothes.
Besides complaining, my stepson started to show no empathy but also started to feel intimated.